If You’re Looking for a Distraction, Might I Recommend "The Sims"?

We’re all at home, waiting out stay-at-home orders, and boredom is running at an all time high—for everyone else. I’m having the time of my life because I have The Sims.

Yeah, it’s like, we all know The Sims and probs played when we were younger, but if you’re like, “I seriously doubt it would make my corona anxiety go away,” you’re wrong.

The Sims is an always-dependable time suck, and now we need a time-suck more than ever. I’m not fooling myself into thinking I’m gonna be productive and write a screenplay during my downtime—just staying sane is a feat rn. I not only feel justified in wasting hours a night with my hot laptop burning through my comforter, but soothed. It’s self-care in the purest, most childish way.

So here’s my plea for you to download The Sims.

It’ll soothe your mental health. I swear.

I’m the most anxious person I know, and playing The Sims has legit kept me sane/soothed/and weirdly level-headed for the past two weeks.

That’s because it’s like living out microscopic versions of life’s biggest dramas. I’m no longer worried about day-to-day stuff. Pretending to live real life through the minutiae of going out to dinner at Chez Llama or going to the spa is healthy escapism I can get into right now. (Yes, I made a Sims coronavirus bunker with a Sim version of myself, and you know what? I felt better after.)

It’s so effing cheap right now.

Shout out to Chloe Metzger, our deputy beauty editor who Instagram Storied about The Sims sale a few weeks ago and inspired me to re-download it. The base game, aka the most basic form of The Sims, without any add on expansion packs, is literally $5 for Macs! FIVE DOLLARS YOU GUYS. And you can download it virtually.

This shit runs smoother than you remember.

I think I spent about 38 percent of Fifth Grade waiting for my sims to get their stupid-ass splines reticulated. On my old, early 2015 MacBook Air (literally got the cheapest version, so it’s not like I’m secretly running ultra-powerful RAM or anything on it, I promise), it’s smooth sailing.

The expansion packs are so fun now.

See below for justification on how I spent $100 going hog wild buying…

Fellow Simmer and my colleague, Adrienne Westenfeld at Esquire, recommends the Seasons pack for the best gameplay without having to travel to different Sims worlds (I have yet to try it, but it’s on my list as soon as my stimmy check hits).

There are a boatload of Game Packs and Stuff Packs.

These tinier versions of expansion packs, like Vampires, which allows your sims to become vampires and introduces a new neighborhood called “Forgotten Hollow” and Spa Day, which allows your sims to visit a spa, and upgrade their houses with spa and wellness-like things like saunas, massage tables, and more.

As for Stuff Packs, my picks are Laundry Day, which introduces dirty clothes and washer/dryers to your sims’ lives, and the newest one, Tiny Living, which enables your Sims live in trendy tiny homes with cute midcentury Murphy beds. (a cute Murphy bed? I know, but somehow they did it.)

You can customize your Sim harder than ever.

With the CC, or custom content. Just Google “Sims 4 custom content” and download a billion hairstyles and more modern clothes (ily, EA, but you got some work to do on Sims wardrobes), all for free.

There’s way more to do with Sim mods.

These user-generated game modifications and custom content, are on another level. You can fight zombies with the Zombie Apocalypse mod, create a royal Sims family with the Royalty Mod, get your nails done with the Explore Mod. Last but not least, watch your Sims have sex with the Wicked Whims mod, which also has a built-in menstrual cycle feature that allows your Sims to get PMS, have their periods, and have to change their tampons and pads.

Want to fill your Sim coronavirus bunker with a shelf full of your favorite Shin Black Ramen because it’s being price-gouged on Amazon and you can’t get any IRL? There’s a mod for that.

The bottomline: It’s seriously almost impossible to get bored of The Sims. Between the different expansion packs (try and resist the allure of them, seriously, just try), and the mods and custom content, I have to pry myself away from my computer just to remember to talk to people in real life. It’s a blessing.

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