How I Do It: The woman in a long-distance relationship in lockdown

Is there anything better than getting a sneak peek into someone else’s sex and love life?

Well, you’re in luck – because How I Do It is here.

More so than just being about sex, this series explores what makes people tick, what affects their sex drive, relationships, and all the other things that make up the most intimate parts our lives.

This week, we’re talking to Kashvi*, a 25-year-old bisexual woman in a long-distance relationship who has not come out to her parents yet.

She is spending lockdown apart from her boyfriend, who is 26, but makes sure to have a lot of solo fun to satiate her sexual appetite (to clarify: she masturbates a lot).


Well, I got bored this morning so I logged on to Sharesome (a social media platform where people share adult content) and had a look through some gifs.

I was searching specifically for things focusing on female pleasure – people’s faces while orgasming and getting lost together.

I usually get off on gifs and videos that look a lot like my own sex life so it’s a good place to find material.

I felt a little guilty for not messaging my partner so that we could sext at the same time, but I also wanted this time to myself. I never get time to myself at the moment.


Today marks one year since we lost my aunt to cancer. I got fairly drunk at dinner – we’re sort of in mourning so I think it’s allowed.

I didn’t have any sexy thoughts today.


I woke up way too early. I thought about having a cheeky moment to myself but decided to exercise instead. I’m glad I did – I felt pretty sexy after that. 

I had to help move my sister out though, she was leaving her university flat. My mind wandered to my partner a lot as he lives pretty close to her uni town.

We texted throughout the day, and I thought about having some sexy fun with him when I got home but I was just too exhausted by that point.

We’ve been together five years, four of which have been long distance – it’s really hard to keep it going sometimes.


Non-essential shopping day! Mum and I took a trip into town to find some new clothes and things today.

I was hoping to find a few pieces that were a little bit sexy for next time I see my partner but who knows when that’ll be. I gave him a little taste on SnapChat, which made me feel good.

Every time I see him I feel that flutter and want to jump him… damn this pandemic.

We see each other once a month or so (but not at all during lockdown) so the sex is always fresh and a bit different – even after all these years we still try out new techniques and see what the other one makes of it.

And I like to send him cheeky Snapchats every now and then, like just after I’ve come out the shower or when I look particularly cute.


I’m so pumped to have a task for tomorrow (work), I literally can’t wait.

But I find myself thinking about sex more and more now that I’m writing these thoughts down.

I’m bisexual but I haven’t come out to my parents yet.

My boyfriend knows. It’s amazing to have a partner who is so supportive of my sexuality and because I have him in that sense I don’t feel too badly about keeping it a secret from others.

It was harder at the start, but my identity is so much more than my sexuality so I don’t feel like my parents need to know at this point.

I have come out to my brother and sister though – they have been very be supportive and send me relatable TikTok clips all the time.


I went back to work for a few hours today. It was exhilarating and made me feel confident, like I could achieve anything.

So at bedtime I logged on to Sharesome again. I looked for something to get me off quick though, almost like a chore just before bed.

I slept really well.


I had a little tiff with my partner this morning, about him hurrying up and getting a job in my city.

It’s the main point of contention in our relationship – I’m very done with long-distance and want us to move in together. I know he does too, but sometimes it feels like his version of job hunting and my version are very different.

That said, he does have an interview next week so keeping my fingers crossed.

We made up that afternoon, I sent him a few sexy Snapchats. It all felt pretty performative though – I didn’t really feel that sexy.

I miss him a lot.

*Name has been changed.

How I Do It

In’s How I Do It you get a sneak peek into a week of a person’s sex and love life – from vanilla love-making to fetishes, threesomes and polyamorous relationships, they reveal it all.

Fancy taking part yourself? Email [email protected] for more information.

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