Billie Eilish is opening up for the first time about her ex-boyfriend, a rapper named Brandon Adams who goes by the stage name 7:AMP.
In her revelatory new Apple TV+ documentary, Billie Eilish: The World's a Little Blurry, the 19-year-old "Bad Guy" singer gives an inside look at her relationship with the musician, whom she calls "Q."
In the beginning, the two talk over the phone as she says, "I love you and I'm in love with you." By the end of the documentary, however, Eilish and Q, are broken up.
"I just wasn't happy. I didn't want the same things he wanted and I don't think that's fair for him. I don't think you should be in a relationship super excited about things that the other person couldn't care less about," Eilish says. "I don't think that's fair to you. I don't think that's fair to him. There was just a lack of effort. I was literally like, 'Dude, you don't have enough love to love yourself so you can't love me, dude. And you don't. [laughs] You think you do.' "
"I do love him though, which made it harder. I'm not over him, I didn't find someone else," she adds. "I didn't stop having love for him. I just spent time away from him for a little bit and I was like, 'Wow I'm missing so much because I'm worried about you all the time and I don't want what you want and you don't want what I want.' I don't want to fix him. I can't fix him. I tried."
The film also shows several moments where Eilish appears to be frustrated with Q while they were still dating.
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Ahead of Eilish's performance at Coachella, the two have a cute moment where Q asks her to style her hair a certain way and she does. She then sings "All the Good Girls Go to Hell" to him to practice the lyrics.
After the sweet moment, though, Eilish forgets the lyrics on stage and she gets really sad for messing up, so she decides to call her boyfriend, who's attending the festival. "Can you come here?" she asks him. "Can't you see me?"
She slowly gets sadder, as she says, "What do you mean, 'try?' " before she hangs up the phone and throws it on the floor.
Later, Q breaks his hand after hitting a wall and Eilish explains to a friend, "I'm trying to get him to go to therapy. He's so self-destructive."
In another scene, she discusses how Q didn't get her anything for Valentine's Day when someone asks how they celebrated the holiday. "Haven't gotten anything. And the night before, he'd been really weird and distant and s—," she says.
Eilish then says Q was going on a trip with his friends. "I was just like, 'You know what? Have fun. Don't worry about me," she says. "I'm miserable, and I miss you, and I wish you would talk to me, and I have no one else to talk to.' "
Billie Eilish: The World's a Little Blurry is out now on Apple TV+.
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